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I Deserve a Danny DeVito Cutout Because…

It’s Danny DeVito’s birthday and I did a contest to see which fan of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia wanted a Danny DeVito cutout most.

I received over 100 emails. It was a really tough decision to choose just two. Here are the two winners along with quite a few other emails I received.

I deserve a Danny DeVito cutout because…


Live Size Cutout Winner: Angela L –

Dear free cutout people.

I deserve the Danny DeVito cutout more than any other fan because Danny & I have the same birthday!!



We were both born on November 17th. I can quote along every always sunny episode and I need the cutout in my life.

My favorite Danny quote is…

“Im a man cheetah!”
“Care for an egg in this trying time?”
“Rummm haaammmm!”

Peace out.


Mini Cutout Winner: Chelsea G –

I deserve the cutout for this reason: my daughter, who will be two in February, loves Danny DeVito. I’m not sure how it happened, but when watching It’s Always Sunny with her aunt, she really got fixated on him in particular. We looked really hard to find a doll of him, but we did not have luck. We would LOVE to have this for her to admire her hero, even if it means we’re shitty parents. After all, we learned from the best. My favorite Frank quote is: There is nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who is smart and attractive. We have to pretend you’re both.

Frank Dee Quote


Jeanne D –

Frank is one the main reasons I watch it’s always sunny. He is Freaking hilarious and really makes the show. I have been watching from the begining and me and my fiance STILL watch all the old re-runs on NetFlix. Can not get enough !!!!! We also live outside of Philly and can really relate to the show and it’s topics. All around one of the Best shows out there. I also heard he is a really personal person and someone who I would love to meet one day.
My name is Jeanne DeSantis

Favorite Quote – Well, I don’t know how many years on this Earth I got left. I’m gonna get real weird with it.


David S –

I believe I deserve the cut out more than anyone else because I am the biggest Sunny fan on the planet God Damn IT! I need this cut out! NO! This cut out needs me! I have only so much time left on this earth and I wanna get real weird with it! Send me this cut out and I will bring it everywhere with me. I will take it to work, church, on dates, to a concert, to the bathroom! I will send photos of myself and MY Danny Devito cut out on the many adventures we will have. I will take it to famous places and get people to take pictures of me and my cut out! I would lick Crickets crack for this cut out. You just don’t understand the lengths I will go to for this cut out. I would even have sex with Dee… ok maybe not but you get where I am going with this. As for my favorite quote of Frank’s it would be as I crafted into my email to you but here it is. “Well, I don’t know how many years on this earth I got left. I’m gonna get real weird with it.” I mean come on, I just want to hug him and make him my best friend. I wish I could have been there to get weird with him but I can’t. What I can do is get real weird with MY new Canny Devito cut out. What do you say??? 🙂


Liam G –

it’s really simple…my brother just passed away n i think this would help in the healing process…Danny Devito has been known 2 heal n help others the world over…

“Roxy, God Bless you. You were a good whore, you serviced me like no other whore ever did; not only my crank, but my heart – and I’m gonna miss you. AMEN.”


Keith C –

I want this Danny DeVito cutout so bad because I’m so sick of playing night crawlers by myself. Sometimes I’ll sit and cut my nails with my toe knife and think to myself what it would be like to have a partner, 2 dimensional or not, that I could wriggle around with and do all the fantastic things that nightcrawlers do. I’ve been so lonely ever since my hoor wife kicked the bucket and I had to throw her in the trash. Now excuse me, my shitbad slumlord keeps trying to get me to pay rent and I’m gonna snatch his snakemeat sandwich.

“Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?”

Egg


Hannah B –

Why do I deserve a cutout more than anyone else? My life revolves around It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I have been watching it for the past 5 years and I never get sick of the show. As soon as I start a new show I miss It’s Always Sunny and go back to watching that show instead. Frank and Charlie are my two favorite characters by far, but of course I like Frank better. He is the quirkiest & grossest old man I have ever seen. From marrying whores to getting naked in the sewers you will never get bored of him. My favorite quote from him is,”Whats up bitches? I’m a man cheetah!” Thanks, I hope you pick me!


Alysa M –

Hi there!

This is Frank. We rescued him from the Dane County Humane Society and he’s named after Danny DeVito because, well, we watch always sunny nightly so I mean deserving, yeah?

I also think we deserve the cutout because we went as the gang for halloween this year. We just couldn’t pass it up.

Favorite quote is a solid tie between:
1. “You gotta pay the troll toll to get into that boyshole”
2. “Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?”

We hope you think we deserve it too!

Dog

Halloween


Jacob S –

When I was in college I shared a house with two of my best friends and we were all and still are, HUGE Always Sunny fans. We had several posters around our house of them. Unfortunately we had a little party one night that turned into a fight when two random dudes showed up and they ended up ripping all of our posters off of the wall. Now, the kicker is, if I win this, I will actually be giving it to my best friend and soon to be Best Man at my wedding in April. I am well over 100% he will display this bad boy with pride in his man cave where we still, to this day, watch Always Sunny.

Favorite Frank Quote:

“I dropped my monster condom… that I use for my Magnum Dong”


Johnny –

Hello fellow fan!

I deserve cutout. Taxi! I am fan of if you vote me, cutout will be safe. Display. Safe from danger. Trump. I’m hot. Giving cutout to me is right thing to do. So do.

“When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash!” – Frank

Seriously, I want that thing. I live at the end of a long driveway and i want Danny to be the first thing people see when they drive up; just so people know what im all about… Boilin denim and bangin whores.

Thank you


Kyle C –

I think I deserve the cut out more than anybody else because I will love and cherish him as if he was my own beautiful child. I promise to take care of him and love him more than I love myself. I will tuck him in bed at night and let him sleep in my bedroom. I also want to be able to freak my fiance out by hiding him in various places throughout our apartment. I will also let him relax on the couch and watch Always sunny with me. We could also watch other classics such as Matilda, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and Batman Returns.

As for my favorite Frank quote, “EGG!”

Thank you, I hope I am a strong consideration for the life size Danny Devito. I would love to even be considered as a runner-up to owning this masterpiece of the great man to bless us all with his presence.


Sage C –

Sorry for being so forward, but give me cutout. Cutout me. Cutout now. Me a cutout needing a lot now.

I believe I deserve the cutout more than the other jabronis because I am a poor college student who would cherish the cutout, and make sure everyone sees how much I love Danny devito and the gang. Also I would send you pictures of me sleeping with him, going to class with him, and other strange things if your heart desires.

As for my favorite frank quote- nothing beats, “oh whoops. I dropped my monster condum that I use for my magnum dong!”

Thanks, and god bless you. You are a good whore.


Bryan S –

Fellow It’s Always Sunny Watchers!!

First off 73!? That’s wild, the guy still looks like he’s in his fifties! It must be the crazy antics he gets into on the set! This show has gotten me through a lot honestly. I started watching it during my whole spring break of my sophomore year of college after my girlfriend at the time and I broke up. It was far from amicable, and to make things worse, I lived practically next door to her at school. It’s always sunny became a true escape to me into almost an alternate world. A world where the only things that matter where the shenanigans the gang got into. Even to this day roughly two years after that breakup I still use the show to escape the problems of every day life. Frank quickly became my favorite character. The absolute random things he says and does simply puts me in a better mood. It started my strange obsession with Danny , which is totally normal because the dude is a gift from god! My all time favorite quote is when Frank says: “I don’t know how many years on this earth I got left. So I’m gonna get real weird with it”. It’s a total mantra for everyone to live by because life is too short to live in monotony. As dark humored as the show is, which I love of course, there are these awesome deep takeaways that you can get. Plus any time frank says “HOOR” I lose my damn mind. Thanks everyone and keep up the awesome posts!!!


Nate C –

I would like one of the cutouts for a friend of mine who’s turning 24 in a couple weeks, I claim to be a bigger fan of the show although he has a rum ham tattoo. I’m hoping this cutout can serve as a peaceoffering or settlement deal on the argument…much like an egg.

one of my favorite quotes would be. “I don’t know how many years on this earth I have left…I’m gana get real weird with it”

Weird


Sam E –

Hello, fellow American. This you should vote me.

Frank Reynolds, like Arthur Doolittle, is a dirty cheat who belongs in filth and decay. They know they belong there. They love it. While they might have a pocket full of wonga, all they want to do it scrounge for a couple bucks and get weird. This is why I believe Frank Reynolds deserves a place in my home. I’m a lazy sack of shit with buckets of squandered potential. All I do is smoke, drink, and bang dirty whores. He’ll feel right at home. I even have a toe knife.

I think the most important aspect of Frank’s move into my house would be that my “girlfriend” ($2 slut) would hate it, but since this place looks like it was decorated by Artemis and Gail, I think I deserve a little Frank in my life.

“Well, I don’t know how many years on earth I got left, I’m gunna get real weird with it. Meanwhile, block the wind, I’m gunna roast this bone.”

“I dropped my monster condom for my magnum dong!”

I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you.


Joshua V –

While I haven’t been watching the show for too long (already finished it though) I feel I can relate to Devito’s character. I did the spirit animal thing where you meditate for hours and my first thought was rumham. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is my all time favorite show. I hope you find it in your heart to at least consider me.

My favorite Frank quote (off the top if my head) is when he walks into the bar, cocks his gun and says “where’s the goddamn fire”

I wish Devito the happiest birthday!


Brad B –

I paint Frank Reynolds to help me cope with my PTSD. I live alone and this would come in handy to demoralize would be intruders.
“Dennis your mule is SHIT. I am no longer turned on by mules”

Brad


Jordan S –

I see that your giving away a Danny Devito cutout. That’s awesome. I’ve been giving away Danny Devito/ Frank Reynolds art for a few years on instagram through a scavenger hunt type game. I’m glad to see others are doing the lords work as well. This is the one I’ve been giving away, but now I’m inspired to do more!

“I love eggs, Charlie. And I love crabs. And I love boiling denim and banging whores. And I don’t care if anyone doesn’t like that about me, they don’t have to stick around.”

I love your page, it’s the best part of my Facebook.

Jordan


Jacob B –

I think I deserve the Danny DeVito cut out because I am moving in with my fiancée in a few months.

Hear me out now.. since we don’t have kids yet and don’t plan to have any for a while, we will need a cute little someone to fill that void.

I think that cut out Danny DeVito would fill the void. He would be cared for day in and day out. He would have all the essentials he needs to grow and thrive in a loving environment. He would also be the first piece of furniture we owned together for our new house. We wouldn’t even need to buy a security system. Who’s crazy enough to break into a house guarded by Frank Reynolds himself? NO ONE THATS WHO!

That’s why I should get the Danny DeVito cut out.

“I am not gonna diddle your kids”-Frank Reynolds


Kalil –

Hi! I writing this hoping to acquire a Frank cut-out.
My name is Kalil and I love the show. It is undoubtedly the funniest show on television. I think I should win the cut-out cause I NEED THAT SHIT IN MY LIFE. I have model my life after Frank. Highway to hell baby! I would take good care of it. I would feed it rum ham and cocaine every day. It would have a nice cat/rat hair covered bed to sleep in. It will be in good hands my friend. Hell, I’ll probably marry it (for the benefits, not the gay way.

Anyways… here are some of my favorite Frank Reynolds quotes cause you asked.

“I don’t know how many years I got left on this earth. I’m gonna get real weird with it.”

“Does anyone have any illegitimate children with my WHORE WIFE that I should know about?”

“Whatever happens make sure Charlie is the first one to die!”

“Somebody’s gotta get stabbed!”

“I had a minor stroke. No big deal.”

“I’m sorry rum ham!”

“*russian accent* Vat is the matta Dennis? Vy are you so uncomfortavle?

Anyways… hope you chose me man. It would be greatly appreciated. Have a nice day man.

Egg.


Toby W –

Sorry I had something important to tell you guys…. All your mothers died. Just kidding that’s a business tactic to soften the blow.
Honestly I am not necessarily cut out for winning but I’ll adapt.

Well I deserve this cut out because
1. I am not a diddler
2. I wouldn’t do it with anyone younger than my daughter
3. No little kids, gotta be big, older than my wife.
4. There isn’t a scenario where I don’t eat the cat food

Something like that
I will stop there however, in order for there to be a winner you gotta start by cutting the crust off this shit sandwich.
I also sent a blank email because that was the fake out haha

Seriously I watch this show religiously


David –

This is a special story, and It’s Always Sunny is one of our favorite shows. Me and my fiance are getting married on Tuesday. And we’re in the middle of planning our cross-country road trip, from Providence, RI to Madrid, NM… we’ve been planning this trip with our cat, Jack, and planning our stops along the way. Driving with two cars, Jack was going to be her co-pilot and Instagram star. Well, Jack passed away two days ago, 6 days before our wedding and just weeks before our cross-country road trip to our new home. We are both devastated by the loss of our little man…but who better co-pilot across the country than this other little man, Frank Reynolds??!!! We’re still probably going to cry halfway across the country, but at least with Frank in the passenger seat we can laugh our asses off for the other half.

“Uh Oh. I dropped my monster condom that I use on my Magnum dong.”

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