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Danny DeVito’s Hilarious Ball Bitting Monkey Story as Only Danny Could Tell It

Can’t Help but Wonder What Would Frank Do? #WWFD

First of all…Whats up Obi Wan!?! Care to come back into our lives? Ok. Sorry, I’ve been locked into Star Wars mode since last week and I’m still coming down from it.

Gotta think Sunny…GODDAMN SONS OF BITCHES…I’m gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I’m gonna kick some butt, gonna drive a big truck. I’m gonna rule this world. I’m gonna kick some ass. I’m gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Rock, flag, and eagle! 

Ok I’m back.

Holy shit though! There is just something about Danny DeVito telling a story. It actually reminds me of my own Grandpa, how Danny can just build up this story and you aren’t quite sure where the hell its going. Obi Wan and the other Limeys are just watching Danny looking like “where the fuck is this going” and then BOOM! Monkey leaps at his balls.

Danny has to have about 1000 hilarious random stories from his decades of work and I’d love to see a documentary-like show that just follows him around all day.



I feel like random shit just happens to him everyday. Now, that could be me just picturing him as Frank 24/7 or maybe its because his body alone makes me laugh. Huge head, short, oddly long arms, crazy hair, magnum dong. Either way, I think a Danny by Day Documentary (pls credit me with that name when some Hollywood asshole steals it) would be good shit.

The most Frank moment of the whole clip is Danny saying “like this far away and I probably wouldn’t be telling this story right now”.

Just the thought that if the monkey had bit his junk off he would have died is Frank, 100%.

We need a Frank episode where he adopts a monkey to clean up the apartment or some shit. Maybe Charlie gets offended by it and adopts his own monkey to just poop everywhere. Next thing you know we got a whole goddamn monkey war between Charlie and Frank. I can see Frank all decked out in some King-like costume sitting on a golden throne surrounded by monkeys.

Basically I just need more Frank. Especially if that 2-Star man Dennis never comes back. That son of a bitch!

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