Breaking News! The DENNIS System Proven to Be a Viable Dating Technique Once Again

A Crow and a Wildling Walk Into a Cave: Tale as Old as Frank

A few months ago, I showed all you peasants how Jon Snow used the D.E.N.N.I.S. System to lose his virginity by banging the wildling Eigrrieette (see you in the comments nerds) in a sexual hot spring infested cave north of the wall.

Many people were saying “Wow I never noticed that. You’re a Genius Nick!”

Jon Snow DENNIS System

Now, back then I asked, for those of you who hadn’t used the D.E.N.N.I.S. System yet, WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING YOU SO LONG?! Well, I ask you again GODDAMNIT! WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG YOU BIRD BITCH!

Dee is the worst

It clearly worked for the Golden God and then I showed you how it worked for The Prince That Was Promised. But, even with this glaring evidence, some of you will sit there with a big dump in your pants, talking to you DEE you bitch bird, and continue to see the System as sadistic and morally wrong.

Well, if it is just some system conjured up by a sick and twisted megalomaniac, who may or may not be a serial killer (he is) as a way to emotionally roofie women into having sex with him, then how do you explain this…..

Folks…that is Jon Snow and Eagerette engaged AF! Not so sick and twisted of a system now is it?

I think its time for me to market this and make some money off of it. I could have a advertisement for it too. ¬†Wonder what that would look like…

…camera pans over to a man sitting on a couch in what appears to be a 400 sq foot slum apartment with a short sleeve button up and a tie that hangs to about his midriff…”DOES YOUR BED NOT MAKE ENOUGH NOISE!!!???”…”IS YOUR LACK OF SEX LIFE DRIVING YOU CRAZZZZZYYYYY!!!!!!??”…”Try the D.E.N.N.I.S. System, where in 6 easy steps you can bang the girl of your dreams!”….”Weather its your first time while in a cave or your 369th time because you’re a psychopath, the D.E.N.N.I.S System will work for you!”…


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