Letters to Dennis: the People Want Their Golden God Back

For Your Consideration Mr. Howerton

Here at It’s Always, your leader in all things Sunny and GODDAMNIT’s, we receive quite a few messages, emails, and DM’s from fans.

Many of these fans do not understand that we are a fan site and actually think we are affiliated with the show. In some cases, fans think that the site is a direct link to the actors. Lately, we have been receiving messages from fans that are intended for Dennis/Glenn and they are pretty persuasive.

In an effort to reach him, I will highlight some of the messages for Glenn in this blog and hopefully that SON OF A BITCH will see them and come back to us. Enjoy!

The first one comes from 12 year old Timmy from Parksville, NY.

“Dear Mr. Dennis. My name is Timmy and I’m from Parksville, New York. Not the City, the State! I have been a big fan of yours for along time now. My dad let me watch the show once I turned 11, because he said his dad let him watch the movie Caddyshack when he was 11.

My favorite episode was the one when you told the nurse to get your sister her stories. I have a little sister named Abby and she’s 4! If she doesn’t get her stories she gets mad too, so I understand. I got in trouble in school because I told the teacher that if she didn’t give me an A+ that I would come down on her like the Hammer of Thor.

I just wanted to tell you that I love your show and I really hope you come back for more seasons! I have a pet turtle that I named Dennis. He likes carrots. Please come back. Thank you! Love, Timmy.”

This next message had me a little hot and bothered. It came from Pauline from Intercourse, PA and yes that is an actual town in Pennsylvania.

“Glenn I just want you to come back, Sooooo BAD! I’m stuck here in the middle of nowhere PA, with a husband that don’t want me, four cats and a herd of dairy cattle. I spend all my day milking cows, thinkin bout you. Sometimes its hard for me to concentrate on my chores and my mind goes wanderin. I think about you with your chiseled pecks and perfect jaw line. UGHHH! All I want in my miserable life if for you to come back to the show. I don’t know what I’d do without you!

Thinkin bout you just peaking all over me, keeps me going. I tried to find your address so I could send you a special pair of my undergarments but I couldn’t find em. Don’t worry they aren’t the ones I wear milkin’, cause I don’t wear any at work ;). See you tonight in my dreams sugar baby. Love, Your curvy cowgirl XOXO”

Dennis doing it

Next up, another kid! Crazy how many parents let their kids watch the show. I remember having to wait till like midnight to sneak out of my room so I could watch South Park and Undressed. This one comes from 9 year old, Blake from Streamwood, IL.

“Dennis. Hi! Im Blake. I play soccer for SPD U10’s. We play at Sunnydale School on saturdays and sometime sundays. You are my favorite person on TV! My mommy said that you were leaving and that I wouldn’t see you anymore on TV. It makes me mad and sad. Last weekend we went to the mall and they had a mailbox for Santa. I wrote a letter to him and I told him that all I wanted for Christmas was for you to come back next season. Luke told me at school that Santa wasn’t real but I don’t believe him and I told him that I could prove it to him. So when you come back to TV I can tell Luke that he was wrong. Bye Dennis.”

This one comes from Gresham, Oregon. Dude’s name is Atticus, it is a safe bet that this dude is a GODDAMN Hipster! He 100% loves Portugal, The Man.

“Hey Glenn. I just wanted to reach out to you hoping that you will see this. You have to come back. The entire flow of the show would be completely ruined with your departure. The way you present your idea of what Dennis is as a man and as a human, is just too important to the show. What will they do without you? Show that laughing soundtrack of a sideshow Charlie 5-10 minutes more a show!

I would rather just go torture myself by watching every episode of fuckin’ HIMYM or go watch Friends with my girlfriend for the 80th time! I made an EP for you to show how much I appreciate you and how much you have impacted my life. Its just my banjo and I. I hope you comprehend the essence of it. Love you man.”

Last one I’ll post comes from Robert out of Sherman Oaks, California. He seems pretty mad online. I’d love to troll the shit out of him.

“You’re a piece of human garbage bro! How can you create something so perfect, surrounded by your best friends and loved by the fuckin best fan base in all of Television and just up and leave. Patton Oswald sucks ball dude! Yeah he’s cool on Twitter (#ImpeachTrump) and all, but he stopped being funny when he was in Walter Mitty.

My wife loves you too and you’re breaking her GODDAMN heart! The other day she started squawking like a damn bird, thats how upset she is. I just want you and hopefully my wife back. Five star man? More like a 2 1/2 star man at best. I’m just glad you peaked on Sunny and are going downhill in your new dumbass show. Maybe you should have just stopped acting after The Strangers. Peace Jabroni!”

As you can see, the range of emotions that show up in our inboxes is alarming. Keep sending us shit and keep it up in the comment section. I love hearing from all of you because you are the real 5 Star Men and Women.


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  1. The show will not br the same without him! Indeed each charachter of the show is different and bring his touch to make things from bad to worse….

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